To bake?

My smoke alarm is out to get me. All I did was try to bake cornbread muffins, and in that short time the alarm reduced me to a quivering leaf, standing on my ottoman and fighting off tears while waving a pillow under my smoke detector and pleading with it that "Nothing's burning. Please stop!" I'm not the kind of person who typically talks to inanimate objects, but it just insisted on screaming at me with steady, loud beeps. And, seriously, nothing was burning. The beeping started about ten minutes before the muffins were finished and continued for a good fifteen minutes after I turned off the oven. I had to remain on the ottoman nearly the entire time, for if I stepped off to open a second door or to take the muffins out of the oven, the alarm would sound again before I could make it back to the ottoman. Nor would it allow me to rest for a moment from my constant fanning without punishing my ears. By the end of the ordeal, I was near wits end as I found myself pleading in a broken voice that it please just stop as nothing ... NOTHING ... was burning. As the odors of my baking died down, there were 3-5 minute lulls where I could go about my business thinking that perhaps it was over, and then it would beep at me a few times while I looked at it in horror, prepared to wave my pillow in supplication once again. Had it gone on any longer, you probably would have found me lying in the fetal position under my smoke alarm in the morning.